Awful vanity-press adult Phantom book dump

This thread is for ridiculing all the self-indulgent, implausible, oversexed and ridiculous self-published Phantom books that seem to have invaded any legitimate search for Phantom stuff on amazon.com

www.LifeAfterPhantom.com

So I stumbled across this gem while looking into dvd's for the 1943 film.

Be warned: musclebound Fabio Photoshopped Phantom images galore

Life After Phantom: Opera Erotica
A novel by Samantha
Life After Phantom will take you on a riveting journey that is Opera Erotica at it’s finest…with luscious love scenes that are detailed and explicit, sensual and mouth watering, guaranteed to please…but don’t be fooled. This story is much more than that!

The character originally created by Gaston Leroux in the Phantom of the Opera comes to life like never before. Discover the real man behind the mask, whose tormented and shattered mind nearly drives him to the point of suicide after the most dreadful night of his life.

Discover the terrifying, shocking and unbelievable secrets of the beautiful Catherine, whose past and present are as tragic as Erik’s, but for different reasons. Their meeting is fated, but what does the future hold for them?

In this rendition of Erik’s life after Phantom, two tormented souls come together under extremely dire circumstances. The events that happen before, during, and after their meeting will take you on a roller coaster of emotions and suspense: betrayal, heartache, and grief… the illegal world of mobsters… passion, love, and intimacy…danger, revenge, and murder…a psychic medium, the paranormal and ghosts!

Leroux claimed that Erik’s character was based on fact. In this novel, let your mind imagine that Catherine’s is too…if you dare!.


*facepalm*

~Madame~

There is ''Unmasqued" by Collette Gale. Holy cow. What a weird book to read that was. I was never able to see Mme. Giry the same way again!

I think I even have an author's signed copy. O_o

I went out of my way not to read the Gale novel after seeing an excerpt or two on another forum.

I remember one really pointless smutphic that was "published" as a pay-to-download pdf in the immediate aftermath of the 2004 movie. Modern day story involving a woman having an intimate relationship with a Broadway Phantom actor who *just* happened to have a heavy Scottish accent and green-blue eyes. It was "litterboxed" by Le Chat Noir at PFN and the one thing I remember most about it was the awful cover...a hunky male body shown from the waist up, the top half of his head was cropped, but he was wearing a Phantom mask (and, if I recall, very low jeans). The other thing I remember was how awful the writing was...the unzipping of the hero's jeans made a sound that was pretty much right off of the Rice Krispie box.

*snap crackle pop*

Paula74 wrote:I went out of my way not to read the Gale novel after seeing an excerpt or two on another forum.

I remember one really pointless smutphic that was "published" as a pay-to-download pdf in the immediate aftermath of the 2004 movie. Modern day story involving a woman having an intimate relationship with a Broadway Phantom actor who *just* happened to have a heavy Scottish accent and green-blue eyes. It was "litterboxed" by Le Chat Noir at PFN and the one thing I remember most about it was the awful cover...a hunky male body shown from the waist up, the top half of his head was cropped, but he was wearing a Phantom mask (and, if I recall, very low jeans). The other thing I remember was how awful the writing was...the unzipping of the hero's jeans made a sound that was pretty much right off of the Rice Krispie box.

*snap crackle pop*

OH MY GOD. I REMEMBER THIS STORY! WHY OH WHY CAN I NOT RECALL THE TITLE? *is going to do some snooping on amazon.com and the like*

I confess I've been attempting to read 'Unmasqued' by Colette Gale this week. It is pretty horrendous... and yet I keep reading it?!?! I think it's the train wreck syndrome, where it's awful but you can't stop looking at it, 'cause it's just that bad?!? So many things wrong on sooo many levels. There's some pretty movie based stuff in this one too, which right off the bat pretty much irks me. Then there's how OOC everyone is, and srsly, couldn't some of the characters have remained... untouched? Like Mme. Giry and the managers? I mean... ew. No. Just no. I don't want to give away the, um, 'plot' or anything, but the whole deal with the Chagny brothers, and Erik being pretty much wimpy and whiney... well, yeah, hours of my life I will never get back...

::sigh::

I think my favorite part about the link Madame Giry provided is the claim towards the bottom of the page about the male model, Francisco: "He looks exactly like Erik, but without the birthmark."

Loettchen wrote:I think my favorite part about the link Madame Giry provided is the claim towards the bottom of the page about the male model, Francisco: "He looks exactly like Erik, but without the birthmark."

It should read, "He looks exactly like Gerik, but without the sunburn and mild acne birthmark."

Paula74 wrote:

Loettchen wrote:I think my favorite part about the link Madame Giry provided is the claim towards the bottom of the page about the male model, Francisco: "He looks exactly like Erik, but without the birthmark."

It should read, "He looks exactly like Gerik, but without the sunburn and mild acne birthmark."

Haha! I even question the mild acne.

I just hit the link for what Mme. Giry provided, and holy sh!t. When I heard 'Gerik' singing, I had to exit.

It's like a foghorn, I tell you. A dirty foghorn.

Anyway, found the name of that one book! You Are Not Alone: A Modern Day Story of Christine and Erik http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Alone-Christine/dp/0595366252/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

Quite frankly, I have never been interested enough to read these self-published sequels with ripped Phantoms, but I read excerpt of Gale´s book.
Things I liked: setting of opulent 19th century Paris.
Things I disliked: everything else. Phantom of the opera porn with "good" and "sexy" Phantom, saying Leroux got it all wrong...

Oh lord. I feel that this thread is not complete without this gem of a book, which I've been seeing around the internet but not here yet...

for the record: i have not, actually, spent money on this.

My mouth is hanging open. NOOO...

exopotamie wrote:Oh lord. I feel that this thread is not complete without this gem of a book, which I've been seeing around the internet but not here yet...

for the record: i have not, actually, spent money on this.

Oh, my lord.

I need to wash out my eyes after seeing that.

*shudders*

Why?! Why?!

Is that a picture of John Cudia.. in the cover?

exopotamie wrote:Oh lord. I feel that this thread is not complete without this gem of a book, which I've been seeing around the internet but not here yet...

for the record: i have not, actually, spent money on this.

Woman, you owe me some therapy bills for that. Good lord....

And yes - that does appear to be a John Cudia image.

.... methinks someone should have a word with RUG ...

~Madame~

And doesn´t the girl try to look a bit like Sarah Brightman´s Christine (that hairstyle!) in modern, "sexy" clothing?

RoseOfTransylvania wrote:My mouth is hanging open. NOOO...

Just a thought, but I don't think you want your mouth open anywhere near that book.

R.

Oh my lord, you are right!

Oh, the mental images! The bad, bad mental images! I'll never get my mind clean again!

http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-at-Opera-Christine-Prebler/dp/1603180168
Vampires at opera by Christine Prebler, erotica where Dracula meets Erik. No, it´s not slash, Drac fancies Mina, Erik has Christine. Good characters and settings, even cameo by Dr Jekyll, but hm...
Review (not mine) from Amazon:
"Erik and Dracula are incredibly fascinating characters. Their histories, perspectives and motivations are complex and sophisticated. With such prime materials with which to work, I am still uncertain why Prebler could not explore any depth in either of her two main characters. Instead, the story was driven by sex. In erotica, I expect to have sex on every other page. But to reduce the canon characters to cardboard cutouts is intolerable: I love you, you love me, let's be immortal together because we are soulmates. It left much to be desired."

Ah, my two /favorite/ pieces:

Progney

http://www.amazon.com/Phantasy-Becky-Meadows/dp/0595224466/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1352513955&sr=8-2&keywords=Becky+Meadows]Phantasy

(I found her old angelfire site when browsing around through defunct pages. Oh god oh golly, the horror.)

So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

LadyCDaae wrote:So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

If Gaston Leroux were alive today, I'm sure he'd want his name removed from such a book.

R.

LadyCDaae wrote:So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

Wasn't there already one called Unmasqued by Collette Gale?

ML6 wrote:

LadyCDaae wrote:So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

Wasn't there already one called Unmasqued by Collette Gale?

That one's more of a Phantom meets 50 Shades of Grey.

Viscountess wrote:

ML6 wrote:

LadyCDaae wrote:So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

Wasn't there already one called Unmasqued by Collette Gale?

That one's more of a Phantom meets 50 Shades of Grey.

Eh heh heh heh.

LadyCDaae wrote:So cross-referencing "Phantom of the Opera" and "Harlequin romance" in Google (never you mind why) resulted in this. It looks to be kind of like a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-style mashup, but with porn. I'm torn between cynical amusement and an almost guilty interest...

~LCD

At least this one doesn't have John Cudia as The Phantom photoshopped into the cover art.